i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
