My friends, they love my intelligence
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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