Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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