This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
