Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
