i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
