just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Vodka?
Forever.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
