Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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