Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
