My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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