Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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