I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
