too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
