My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
