i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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