So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
