thus making me awesome and them whores
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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