guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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