The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
