So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
