I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We had sex on a dog bed..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
