Your mouth is God's brothel.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
