i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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