Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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