sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize