I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My bed smells like the plague
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
