but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
