Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
