Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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