Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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