id be glad to
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
