I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
