i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize