i barfeds in our rink
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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