he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
