It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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