well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
