Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
