you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
They took my balls.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
