no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize