Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
