:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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