Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
