so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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