we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
