my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
