She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
