dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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