i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
