Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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