Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You have to summon your inner elephant
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
