Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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