I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
