no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No subtext here. People are naked.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
