everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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