and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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