The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
