I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
