so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
