Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
