Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is Oprah even human
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
